Letter to Current Tenants of Tom's New House

Dear current tenants,

I am entirely shocked and disturbed that you seem to be causing issues for my good friend Tom. Your housing contract ends on 30th June 2010, which means you must return all keys and vacate the property before 1st July 2010.

Tom and his fellow flatmates are kind people and have agreed to let you stay until the morning of 1st July. This in itself is going beyond the terms of your contract, but I now learn you are taking advantage of this generosity and insisting you cannot return all the keys to the landlord until 3rd July.

I must stress that this is quite simply unacceptable. Tom does not have anywhere else to go. He is fully entitled to a vacated property on 1st July 2010 and if you do not allow him this, you are breaking the terms of your contract.

Poor Tom wishes to move into his new flat on 1st July. By refusing to vacate the premises, you are forcing him to sit on the side of the pavement with his multitudes of vinyl records and other assorted posessions looking like something off an album cover.

While I would jump at the opportunity to take artistic photos of Tom in this setting, as a friend I have to put his needs first and he needs a home. He has paid for his home, and he does not need awkward stragglers who can't get organised cluttering up his home.

I would be entirely horrified if I moved into my new flat and found some random peasants filling up the hallway. As Tom is a polite person, he is reluctant to contact the landlord about this issue. I personally think he should get the landlord to cart you away on the 1st July, leaving him the freedom of enjoying his new home.

However, it is not up to me. Either Tom will have to put up with your incredible impoliteness or you will have to seek alternative arrangements. I think the latter is the only suitable course of action.

Yours sincerely,

Rajitha.

PS I will throw a mouldy burrito at you if you carry on being rude to Tom.